Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that’s me) shares one way to achieve a breakthrough at work — and build a career or company you love.
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My friend Jana brought on a strategic advisor to help grow her business. And it’s going… OK.
He’s smart. Capable. Well-connected. He’s already brought Jana lots of value.
But he’s also slow to respond. Often reschedules meetings. Jana is clearly not his top priority — and it’s driving her nuts.
We all have things like this in our lives: They’re lesser versions of what we really want. Maybe it’s the person you’re dating, who isn’t responsive enough. Or the job that’s good but not great. Or the business opportunity that’s promising but limited.
These things are frustrating, but you’re not sure what to do — because, hey, this person or situation has some of what you want. So is it worth walking away from?
Today, I’ll introduce you to a new method of evaluating these situations. I call it The Bag of Chips Test — a way to assess what you want and need, so you can make better decisions about what to do next.
But first, I’ll tell you where the Bag of Chips Test came from. So let’s dig more into Jana’s problem…
The almost-perfect partnership
Jana came to me for advice: What does she do about this semi-absent business advisor?
She’d already asked him to be more responsive. He says he’s committed to working with her, recognizes that he’s been semi-absent, and promises to do better. But nothing changes.
“Do I just have to settle for part of what I want, instead of the full thing?” she asked me.
That’s the wrong way to think about it, I said. Because it means you’ll always see him as deficient, and you’ll always feel bad about it.
Whenever I’m evaluating a complex situation, I like to make it as simple as possible. Strip away the emotions and just treat it like an object, so that you can assess it more clearly.
“Think of this business relationship like it’s a bag of chips,” I told Jana. “It’s on a shelf next to other bags. And your question is: Do you want this bag?”
Everything is just a bag of chips
I know this sounds silly. But stay with me here.
When we’re frustrated with a person or situation, we’re often hung up on what it isn’t.
Instead, we must be clear about what it is.
Imagine buying a bag of chips from the grocery store. You open it. It’s full of air, with a few chips inside. They are delicious, but you wish there were more.
OK. Those are the facts. So will you buy it again?
There are no surprises next time. You can’t shake it harder and make more chips appear. You can’t negotiate with the bag or try to change its contents. You can only decide: Is this the bag I want, knowing exactly what’s inside?
Your mind immediately starts calculating:
- What is the cost?
- What is the value?
- Is the value worth the cost?
As you try to answer those questions, here’s a helpful exercise:
Describe the situation aloud, but without using negative language. Only articulate what you get.
For example, if we were evaluating a bag of chips, we might say: “This bag costs $6, and contains about eight chips that are very tasty.”
Or Jana could say: “This business advisor makes valuable introductions, has strong advice, responds to needs within a week, and is occasionally available for discussions.”
Notice the flat, unemotional language. You’re just stating what’s true. And now you get to decide: Do you want that?
Here’s why this is valuable
When you stop trying to change the bag and start deciding whether you want it as-is, something liberating happens. You regain control over your decisions.
You’re no longer a victim of someone else’s limitations or a situation’s constraints. You’re not waiting for things to become what you wish they were. Instead, you’re making clear-eyed choices about what you actually want… instead of what you just wish you had.
You also get to live in a world of abundance! When we’re focused on getting everything from one person or situation, we lose sight of how we can also assemble what we want from multiple sources. You can have many business advisors! Many mentors! Many friends! Many whatever! Each can provide some part of what you need, which you assemble into a whole. Hell, it’s even true for jobs: You can have a job that provides some satisfaction, and side projects that provide what the job doesn’t.
This all felt like a revelation to Jana. She decided to keep the partnership.
“Now I know what I’m signing up for,” she told me. “I’m not frustrated because I know what he’s capable of, and I’m putting my energy into finding other advisors too.”
The choice is always yours
The next time you’re frustrated with someone or something in your life, just ask yourself:
If this person, situation, or opportunity never changes, do I want it?
Not as a stepping stone to something better, and not as a compromise while you wait for something else — but instead, as the complete thing it actually is.
If the answer is yes, embrace it fully. If the answer is no, move right along.
Either way, you’ll stop wasting energy. And you can focus on getting what you want.
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